Home · Resources

Resources for the space between sessions.

Short videos that explain EMDR without the jargon, books worth your time, grounding tools you can use tonight, and the numbers to call when you need someone right now.

Start here

Understanding it first is allowed.

Most people research EMDR for a while before they book anything — and that's a completely reasonable way to approach a decision about your own nervous system. Everything below is here so you can learn at your own pace, with no one waiting on an answer.

These are educational resources, not therapy, and not a substitute for care from a licensed clinician. Linking to an organization or a book isn't an endorsement of everything it says — take what's useful and leave the rest. If something you read stirs up more than it settles, that's worth bringing to a session.
Watch

EMDR explained, in a few minutes.

Three short videos — two from EMDRIA, the professional association that sets EMDR standards, and one showing what a session looks like from the outside. Nothing loads from YouTube until you press play.

The eight phases, quicklyA plain-language walk through the structure of EMDR treatment, from history-taking to re-evaluation. Watch on YouTube →

How it works and who it's forWhy unprocessed memories keep firing, what bilateral stimulation does, and how widely EMDR is recognized as a PTSD treatment. Watch on YouTube →

EMDR on cameraPrince Harry and Evan Rachel Wood processing on screen — useful if you're picturing something dramatic and want to see how ordinary it actually looks. Watch on YouTube →

Soft daylight across a quiet wall

Reading about it isn't the same as doing it — but it's a real place to start.

Before your first session
Books

Six books worth the time.

A short list rather than a long one. You don't need to read any of these to start therapy — but if you're the kind of person who wants to understand what's happening to you, these help.

01
The Body Keeps the ScoreBessel van der Kolk, MD

The book most people are handed first, and for good reason: it explains why trauma lives in the body and not only in the story you tell about it. Dense in places — it's fine to read it in pieces.

02
Getting Past Your PastFrancine Shapiro, PhD

From the developer of EMDR, written for clients rather than clinicians. The clearest self-help introduction to what EMDR is actually doing.

03
What Happened to You?Bruce D. Perry, MD & Oprah Winfrey

A conversation, not a textbook — and the gentlest entry point on this list. It reframes the whole question from what's wrong with you to what happened to you.

04
It Didn't Start With YouMark Wolynn

For anyone who keeps running into a pattern that seems older than they are. Useful for family-of-origin work and the beliefs you inherited without agreeing to them.

05
Set Boundaries, Find PeaceNedra Glover Tawwab, LCSW

Practical and unfussy. Especially good if the work in front of you is less about a single event and more about relationships that keep costing you.

06
Widen the WindowElizabeth A. Stanley, PhD

On stress, trauma, and building genuine capacity rather than just pushing through. Written for high-performing people who are quietly running on empty.

Between sessions

Four things you can do right now.

Grounding doesn't erase what happened. It gives your body evidence that the danger isn't happening at this moment — which is what makes the rest of the work possible.

5–4–3–2–1

About two minutes
  1. Name five things you can see.
  2. Four things you can feel touching your skin.
  3. Three things you can hear.
  4. Two things you can smell.
  5. One thing you can taste.

Say them out loud if you can. The point isn't the list — it's that noticing detail pulls attention out of the memory and back into the room you're actually in.

Box breathing

One to three minutes
  1. Breathe in through your nose for four counts.
  2. Hold for four.
  3. Breathe out slowly for four.
  4. Hold empty for four. Repeat four times.

The long exhale is doing the work — it's the part that signals your nervous system to stand down. If four counts feels like too much, use three.

The butterfly hug

Two to five minutes
  1. Cross your arms over your chest, hands resting near your collarbones.
  2. Tap slowly — left, right, left, right.
  3. Breathe normally and let whatever comes up simply pass through.

This is bilateral stimulation, the same principle EMDR uses, in its simplest self-soothing form. Stop if it intensifies things rather than settling them.

The container

About five minutes
  1. Picture a container strong enough to hold anything — a safe, a vault, a locked box.
  2. Place what you're not ready to work on inside it.
  3. Close it. Notice that you decide when it opens.

Used in EMDR preparation to end sessions contained rather than raw. It isn't avoidance — it's choosing the timing, which is often the part trauma took away.

If a grounding exercise makes things noticeably worse — more panic, more dissociation, feeling further away rather than closer — stop, and come back to it with a therapist. That reaction is information, not failure, and it's exactly what the preparation phase of EMDR is designed to address. See how the phases work →
Right now

If you need someone tonight.

This website isn't monitored around the clock. Every line below is, and every one of them is free.

988 Suicide & Crisis LifelineCall or text 988 — 24/7, for suicidal thoughts, emotional distress, or worry about someone else.
988
Crisis Text LineText HOME to 741741 to reach a trained crisis counselor by text, any hour.
Text 741741
SAMHSA National HelplineFree, confidential treatment referral and information for mental health and substance use, 24/7.
1-800-662-4357
RAINN National Sexual Assault HotlineConfidential support 24/7, connecting you to a trained staff member near you.
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence HotlineCall, text START to 88788, or chat online for safety planning and support.
1-800-799-7233
The Trevor ProjectCrisis support for LGBTQ+ young people, by phone, text, or chat, 24/7.
1-866-488-7386
Veterans Crisis LineDial 988 then press 1, or text 838255. For veterans, service members, and their families.
988, then 1
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911. Emergency services can reach you faster than any therapist can.

Done reading? No pressure either way.

Free 15-minute consult — meet Stacey, ask anything, and see if it feels right.

Book a Free Consult